I promise to blog about my trip to Seattle soon... but first, I just wanted to briefly talk about a friend that I have recently parted ways with after almost 10 years.
I titled my post "Getting the crazy out of your life", because that's exactly what I did.
Well, my former friend isn't exactly crazy... but she does have a serious drinking problem.
And it's sad. She's actually a very pretty, smart, kind and friendly person. At least when she's sober.
However, when she drinks and gets drunk, she turns into a MONSTER. And I don't use that word lightly.
I have tons and tons of stories that I could post on this site about her crazy drunken behavior. It's pretty sad. And the stories are a bit outlandish... but I guess they would be if you had a drinking problem. Drunk people do all kinds of crazy, weird things when they are inebriated. Inhibitions are lowered, tempers flare and people are out of control... if you've ever been insanely drunk before, you know the deal.
Anyways, this person and I were supposed to go on the trip I took to Seattle together, but instead of showing up, my former friend got drunk and blamed me for why she didn't come. We had been planning this trip for 6 months. I literally talked to her the day before we were supposed to go on the trip and everything was fine... we were friends, we were getting along... we were planning things... everything was cool.
Or so I thought.
And then... she just decided to not show up. And blamed it all on me (there's a whole backstory there... it would be too complicated and sad to write about... but I can assure you, I was NOT in the wrong).
One of the biggest problems with alcoholics (and drug addicts) is that they blame EVERYONE else for their problems. Nothing is ever their fault. They can cuss you out, throw things at you, and break down and scream and yell at you and tell you that "you don't understand what I'm going through" and still blame you for everything. It's your fault that they are sad. It's your fault b/c you don't understand them. It's your fault b/c no one likes them. And it's your fault for not being able to support them... even though they are miserable and refuse to seek help.
Since this all just recently happened, I am still very upset at the turn of events that have transpired. I inadvertently took my first ever vacation alone thanks to my former friend. It was a little weird and unsettling, but I was ok. I mean, I live alone, I take care of myself and support myself... so vacationing alone wasn't too big of a deal. And I met some nice people while I was out and about in Seattle. So I wasn't too lonely.
I can tell you this - I will probably never befriend anyone who has a drinking/drug/serious mental health problem in the future. It's too much of a burden to deal with. People who are afflicted with these issues do have my sympathy... and my former friend has a long road to recovery. Part of me is worried that she won't make it. But it's out of my hands now.
I'm too angry at this point in time to wish her luck... but I will wish her family luck in dealing with her addiction. It's the families of the addicts who really suffer in this whole ordeal. It's really difficult to love and support an addict when they are in the throes of addiction. Honestly, I don't know how families of addicts survive until the end. It must take a lot of effort and energy on their part. So her family has my sympathy. Good luck to them.
Anyways... I'll blog about my trip in the next week or so. But I do want to say that it's a relief not having to worry about my former friend any longer. I'm sad over all of the nasty, delusional things she has written to me through emails and texts in the last week, but I'm glad that nightmare of a friendship is now over.